7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.
14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.
15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.
16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
19 We love because he first loved us.
20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.
21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
1 John 4
When I left home in January of 1983 to go away to school, I was in a relationship that was approaching one year. However, after four months of much needed alone/away and growth time (though I didn't really like it), the relationship ended. As much as I wanted and needed to be loved, I no longer wanted to be owned. I adjusted to my new life away from home, and was learning to rely on and enjoy the Lord more. I met new friends and enjoyed them, but the Lord was more to me!! I really learned during that season how desperate I was for a relationship with God, and how nourishing His word was for me during what seemed like a season of emotional drought. I only really wanted to have a relationship with the One who would endure for me.
It was not happenstance one early fall day of that same year, my mom told me, "B.G. and K.D.'s son is moving back home, so pray for them. Pray for him..." B.G. and K.D. were mom and dad's friends of about ten years. Mom and B.G. first met and worked together in the 4 1/2 year old Sunday School class, but they also worked together in the church office. B.G. was Mom's supervisor.
B.G. and K.D. had come to our home for parties, and when our Dachshund, Fraulein Tippy Two Pooh Cleland, had a litter of seven puppies one cold February night of 1979, four survived, and B.G. and K.D. bought one. They named him something like Klon Von Dirk. Ha! He was the only puppy we were able to stay in close contact with, and it was especially endearing to us to know and hear stories of how much B.G. and K.D. loved and enjoyed him. My only knowledge of their son, M.G., at that time was that he was away at school, and now, out of the blue, he was coming home. So I prayed for him, because my mom told me B.G. and K.D. were concerned for his spiritual condition.
The first Saturday in December, of that same year, I came home to be in a friend's wedding. Because I used to work part time in the kitchen at church before going away to school, I ran down the back stairs into the kitchen in my heels and bridesmaid's dress, and wouldn't you know who I would pass in that narrow stairwell, as that providential time? M.G. or so I assumed. I'm not sure how or why I suspected it to be him, except that I knew he was coming home, so guessed, if B.G. is Dr. Lindsay's secretary, then she possibly secured a job for him while he was home.
We glanced at and greeted one another, and I charged right on in to the kitchen to see my friends. He was headed in the opposite direction.
I loved seeing and hugging my kitchen friends, but from there I continued on into the dining room to join the bride and groom and the other members of the bridal party. I enjoyed refreshments and fellowship. It was fun to be home, but little did I know, the church security guard, Chip, also attended the wedding, and he told me, "There's someone who wants to meet you..." 😳 He left his refreshments on his chair and brought back M.G. so he could introduce us. Little did I know at the time, Chip told M.G., "Hey, there's a girl out in the dining room who wants to meet you." So M.G. followed Chip out to the dining room to meet me. Ha!! That sneaky snipe! He sure pulled one over both of us. Chip introduced us then left us to talk for a few minutes, and I was able to share my little bit of knowledge of him, and my connection to his family through Dirk... Ha!! M.G. shyly told me the story of once sneaking Dirk into the hospital to visit his dad when he was a puppy. He just slipped him into his jacket, and walked in. That was a fun story to laugh about together. We parted ways that day after a brief time together, but that set an interest in me to look for him the next morning in Sunday School. I really only wanted to encourage him, because he seemed terribly shy to me, so I wanted him to have a friend to talk to during the assembly in Sunday School. Though I returned to school that same day, we knew we'd see one another again when I returned for Christmas break, at which time I would resume working in the kitchen to help out with Wednesday night suppers and Christmas banquets scheduled during the holidays.
Our friendship blossomed over the holidays, and we enjoyed working together. Soon after I returned to school in January, it wasn't long before I received a letter in the mail from M.G. What a fun surprise, and that began a more in depth friendship of sharing letters back and forth between us. M.G. was a timely blessing to me for many reasons. His interest in growing in his faith encouraged mine. I am thankful the Lord prompted him to pursue me, even if from a distance, because otherwise, I might not have felt so compelled to encourage his friendship. I had another good 'friend' in Tallahassee, so M.G. letters were actually the extra comfort I needed from a long distance.
For the next year and a half, M.G. and I pen-paled. My roommates enjoyed him as much as I did. He was funny and creative. It was not uncommon for him to send me small gifts in the mail. One of the most memorable gifts was a small bag of colored capsules with instructions; throw them into a pot of boiling water. My roommates and I watched with anticipation as a bunch of small sponge animals took shape to make an interesting menagerie of fun! Week after week, my roommates anticipated M.G. letters as much as I did.
Interestingly enough, both M.G. and my Tallahassee friend went to the U of F that fall. My Tallahassee friend went to begin grad school. M.G. returned to complete his final year of engineering school. I prayed M.G. would connect with a group of new Christian friends that would encourage his relationship with the Lord. I feared He had depended on me, and questioned his need for me. He connected with Campus Crusade for Christ, so that encouraged me. He often wrote and told me of meetings and discipleship gatherings. I loved knowing M.G.'s faith was being nurtured and encouraged by others. My last semester at FSU was full... Friends gathered all the time, and it was hard to write and maintain, and I'm sure that frustrated him. In spite of this, I began to sense he had a greater interest in me, and knowing we would soon be graduating and returning home the same time I would, I feared what he might be thinking. That day came after we returned home as he communicated his desire to date me, and only me.
He was scheduled to soon leave for a three month Campus Crusade for Christ Summer Project (1985) in Wyoming. I soo admired his growing faith and desire to go, to be saturated in an atmosphere of Christian friends and godly counsel, to take part in discipling others in their walk with the Lord, but I was not willing to commit myself to him. We had just graduated from different schools after pen-paling for 1 1/2 yrs. I wanted to come home and be free. I wanted liberty to be and do what I wanted with whomever I wanted. I just wanted to be me at church, not a 'couple'. I just wanted... and needed to find myself.
Soo yes, it happened... after he returned from Wyoming, I avoided M.G.'s persistent fun-loving friendship. I didn't know how to deal with his interest, and I simply did not want the stress and pressure of his interest.
Being 'just friends' was hard, and what seemed harder to me was not caring (actually, fearing) to become more than that. I had dated prior to meeting him, and having relationships that didn't lead to marriage exhausted me. It drained me to invest time into being paired with someone, when really I had not taken enough time, nor responsibility to inventory their life and spiritual condition in order to know at the onset that they were or were not qualified to husband me. I knew what I wanted and needed, but I was simply too immature, as were my boyfriends, to measure up to being marriage ready myself. In my day, few wanted to be married so soon after high school. It was more popular to date!! Ugh! Dating was like a sport to be entertained by!
Well, wouldn't you know, the Lord had something different planned for me, and in a timely way He began to slowly change my heart concerning M.G. and our future together. The picture above reminds me of that special season of change, when I was sure ONLY the Lord awakened love within my heart for my Beloved, M.G!
On February 14th, 1986, after I'd avoided M.G. for several months, he sent me a Valentine card which caught me by surprise. I wish I knew exactly where it was at this moment, because I'd share it. It was a simple card with a small musical eighth note on the front right corner that was in the shape of a heart... 😳. Inside was a simple handwritten note. I don't recall the entire message, but I will never forget his closing statement...
"You can't make me stop!"
My first reaction was, "Excuse me?? Who's trying to make you stop anything? Not me!"
To this day, he still speaks these words to me, because he evidently still thinks I try to resist his love 😖. I don't mean to, and I especially never want to not be loved. 😪
I stared at that 'love note' and within a few moments, I was awed...simply brought to tears as I wondered, "Does he really love me after all this time?"
Between February and the weekend the picture above was taken, M.G. slowly and methodically persisted and demonstrated his desire to nurture and encourage me. He was willing to accept me where I was, and encouraged whatever time I needed to accept his love.
Needless to say, it didn't take much time before he captured me. ❤️
One year later to the exact day I received that love note, M.G. took me to St. Augustine for the day and we rode in a horse drawn carriage. It was a cold and windy day, but love warmed us 😍!! I'm not sure he really had a plan, because then we got in the car and drove up A1A towards Jacksonville Beach. He ended up parking the car somewhere around Neptune Beach, and took me for a walk on the beach until it turned dusk, then quickly it was dark. He lead me to what seemed an obscure gazebo and after snuggling and talking for a few minutes, he simply slipped the ring on my finger and while he held me, I accepted his unspoken (ha!) request to marry him. He already knew I was committed to be his!!
Because it was dark, I could only feel the ring... I couldn't see it, so I begged him to take me to find a light, a street light, anything, whatever, so I could see my ring!! So, under the street light of an unknown location, I saw my diamond sparkle in the light shining down from a pole. From there we jumped in the car and headed to his house, so we could tell his parents, "It's official!" 🎉 Then we headed home to tell my parents. What a sweet night.
Another "little did I know" we soon learned, our moms eventually told us they had already secured two dates on the church calendar, penciled in as "Mutt and Jeff". Their close awareness of the many activities filling the calendar gave them reason for concern, so in order to ensure two dates were available for us to marry, they secured Friday, August 28th and Friday, September 25th for us, and we chose September 25th!! ❤️
This year we will celebrate 30 years of marriage, and today marks 30 years ago we were engaged!! Seems hard to believe.
This sums up the brief version of our perfect love story! 😊
I am thankful today my husband has persisted in loving me. Our love for one another is oft taxed and strained by sin, and simply, by the daily demands of life and responsibilities. Our personalities are not always a good fit for one another, but we still know we need one another. The Lord has fitly joined us together, and our love for one another is founded and secured in Christ's love for the Church...
It is He who washes her. He is the Word!!
It is He who purchased her with His blood. He was the Sacrifice!
My husband and I love one another because Christ loved us first. He is the express image of God who is eternal and He loves us infinitely beyond our ability to imagine or grasp what love is. We accept by faith His perfect sacrifice for us, and likewise, we know by faith how to daily sacrifice in marriage for one another.
Even on our coldest and most difficult days together, we know we are safe in His love for us, and that's what perfects our love for one another!!
Thank you, Father God for loving us first!!
Happy Valentine's Day, Love!!
Thank you for loving me!!
❤️
