The Path of Joy in Marriage

“…Make it your habit to ask your husband or wife questions like these: 

How can I serve you today? 

How can I make your day better? 

How can I make your evening easier? 

In what ways can I be a blessing to you today? 

Is there anything I can get you? 

Is there anything I can do for you? 

How can I let you know today that I love you?

And perhaps even better, commit to consistently doing the things you know will serve your spouse, that will make your wife’s day better, that will make your husband’s evening easier.  

Serve, serve, and serve some more. 

Act in love even when you don’t feel loved, act with grace even if you don’t feel particularly gracious. 

Sow extravagant love to the love of your life, and reap the reward of joy. 

For the path to joy in marriage leads away from you and runs straight to your spouse.”

Tim Challis

https://www.challies.com/articles/one-key-to-a-joyful-marriage

Welcome, Reuben 💙

 

It’s a Boy! 

“…My precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!”

Elizabeth Prentiss, 

Stepping Heavenward

This post is long over due!

Reuben Jon arrived November 15th in the pre-dawn hours of the day, giving us much to praise and be in awe of the LORD for safely delivering him!  

As a mom of my much beloved daughter, whom I cannot love more, the LORD shows me more about her that He is at work to accomplish, and I want to trust Him for that work.  

She cannot know how much I cherish and admire her!

Thank you, Father, for your presence and perfect provision of loving care in her life!  

You were there for her, and always will be! 

Photo: Taken in the JFRD rescue truck

More of their story to follow! 

.  

 

You Make Me Glad

 

I oft come to Katherine’s room for my quiet time.  For many years, as a young mom beginning my day, I found much comfort in God’s Word as I read on my own bed.  Mark left for work many mornings before the children had awakened, and when he left, I had my time with the LORD on my bed.  Psalm 4:4 was a charge for me, “Stand in awe, and sin not:  Commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still.”  However, when Mark retired, I had to adjust to an oddly different schedule and rhythm, and I oft felt agitated those mornings he lingered in bed for extra rest because he didn’t sleep well.

Over the years, I’ve tried various places, or delayed my quiet time when Mark had left our bedroom.  Eventually, after Katherine married almost three years ago, I slowly started using her bed for my quiet times.  I’ve grown more comfortable with time to enjoy being there to read God’s Word. 

I’ve noticed and have enjoyed how the LORD startles me most mornings with the sun suddenly popping out for reminder… 

Psalm 92:1-4

It is good to give thanks to the LORD, to sing praises to Your name, 

O Most High;

to declare Your steadfast love in the morning, and Your faithfulness by night,

to the music of the lute and the harp, to the melody of the lyre. 

For You, O LORD, have made me glad by Your work;

at the works of Your hands I sing for joy. 

Father, I want and need this discipline of spending time in Your Word to change my heart!  I am thankful this will, as long as I am not driven to my own devices and counsel.  Thank you for setting my heart in the path you desire for me today, that I may find in You joy for praise!  The simple pleasure of seeing the sun rise to shine into the window brings me comfort! You are good and faithful, even as it shines from behind the clouds that oft hide it’s beaming rays! 

Thank you for the reminder of warmth Your fellowship and presence gives me!

May I find in You my soul’s deepest satisfaction, especially for peace and rest amidst this season of change, the busyness of my coming and going, the obvious mounds of delayed diligence, and thoughts that oft seem more numerous than my strength to bear! 

Pls help me to rest in Your work!  It is enough to motivate me to sing! 

Light of God

Light of God
Come dwell within Your people
As intended from the dawn of time
Make Your goodness
Echoed through creation our desire
Joy of the Divine

Chorus

Holy Spirit break though our darkness
Holy Spirit breathe through our lives
Light of God come radiant and glorious
Perfect wisdom in this world today

Light of God
Come to Your fallen people
As we follow in the steps of Christ
May Your fragrance beautify Your people
As we mirror our Creator's light

Light of God
Come claim Christ's stolen glory
Burn the shadows with the flame of truth
May Your church rise
Stars within the darkness
Giving glory to the Lord of light

Light Divine
Come Father of all beauty
Son of goodness Spirit of all truth
Move us use us
People of Your vision
As we wait for our returning King

Song by Joanne Hogg, Kristyn Getty, and Margaret Becker

Meme’s Birthday Gathering

 

Her calling as Sister, Mom, “Mom-in-love”, Meme, and Friend continues…

I’m thankful God’s purpose for her, as well as our privilege as a family to gather, continues!! I’m thankful her birthdays keep coming! 

Father, thank you for another year, another celebration, another family gathering, and another way to know You’ve proven your faithfulness is yet another story to tell! 

We rejoice in Your work and favor.  You’ve held fast to her in love to carry and sustain her through yet another season of life, making new and sweet memories to thank You for!! 

Pls give her grace as You give her another day, new mercies to tell of Your GREAT FAITHFULNESS! 

Happy 87th Birthday, Mother Dear!

We are soo thankful the LORD is your greatest Gift and reason for living, to love us and point us to Him! 

I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever;  with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations. 

Psalm 89:1

Mom, I pray there will be no end to the telling of God’s faithfulness to your family lineage!! 

Felicitudes

“I am Uncle Matt.”

FJG

Conceived

 

Even if all the world were to combine forces, they could not bring about the conception of a single child in any woman's womb nor cause it to be born; that is wholly the work of God.Martin Luther

LORD willing, this precious babe will soon give birth to her babe…and we will finally know the name of this beloved one God has created: 

Reuben Jon or Amelia Gray.

 

She has proven herself loyal to Luke’s wish to keep their knowledge of this baby’s gender a mystery until birth. 

Soon, the LORD’s purpose for this baby’s gender identity and name will become known!

God is good, He is faithful, and He does not make mistakes!!  I’m so thankful the LORD will accomplish His purpose in this babe’s life! 

As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.

Ecclesiastes 11:5

Pawpaw’s Memorable Wuv

Proverbs 3

1 My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.

3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.

…

I seldom read this chapter without thinking of Mark’s father.

In our early years of parenting, Mark was encouraged to read this proverb, because it was considered a father’s encouragement to his son.  He asked his father to help him memorize it, knowing by this effort, they would both receive the blessing of meditating on it together.  They worked hard to accomplish that desired goal, disciplining their time and thoughts to meditate on God’s Promises as a father and son. 

When our Pawpaw left us in late September of 2012, we had weeks to prepare for his departure, yet it was still a difficult loss!  We still miss him, especially more as his birthday and the holidays roll around. 

When we spend any length of time thinking of him, we recall soo many memories we shared with him, and so much we’ve missed with him!  He always surrounded and loved us so well.  He enjoyed laughing with our children.   I loved that about him. 

Eleven years have passed since Pawpaw moved to Heaven.  It’s easier to say, “We’re glad he’s with Jesus”. I’m thankful he’s surrounded by a host of angels and the perfected righteous saints who have gone before us. 

He not only left his memory with us, but his home is still filled with token reminders to help us not forget his fun-loving personality. 

One such token reminder of his love was gifted to our family by Mawmaw at one of our Christmas gift exchanges.  When our Gray family gathered for Christmas in 2019, Mawmaw brought a White Elephant gift Pawpaw had purchased and given her some 45+ years ago, back when her parents traveled from NC to join them for their family Christmas.  Mawmaw’s dad (Harry) also purchased and gave one to her mom (Willie Mae).  Needless to say, I thought, “What a fun Christmas memory to reflect back on.”

In a White Elephant Gift Exchange, individuals wrap gifts that may be desired and/or not so desired.  That’s the risk and fun of wrapping gifts beautifully or simply, to distract from the least and greater desired treasures.  The gifts are placed in the center of the room for all to choose from.  Everyone chooses a number, and are then able to take turns selecting their gifts, numerically. 

In his imperfect and limited human way, Pawpaw gave simply, yet hilariously.  He knew there was little of anything on this earth to adequately represent and express his love for Betty, his wife.  

Soo, this was the year I could not risk losing what I thought was a simple and funny token treasure given from Pawpaw to Mawmaw.  I claimed it, wanting in some way to continue sharing in his fun-loving memory.  I also imagined how much fun it would be to re-gift this token annually… so the members of our family could annually enjoy Pawpaw’s fun loving spirit. 

Sometimes there’s much fun to be enjoyed while gaining a gift while hoping someone else would not steal your treasure.  It’s also funny when recipient individuals encourage someone to steal their gift in order that they gain another more desired possibility. 

I confess, I stole this gift from the one who was not impressed.  I had little to nothing else to gain by the time it was my turn to choose a wrapped gift, but I had a greater love and appreciation for Pawpaw’s memory and token of his love to gain!! 

A few years have passed and Harrison has played with and experienced Pawpaw’s gift.  Harrison has left his handling mark on it… 

Now the hair is not as fluffy! 😂

Why Mawmaw decided to part with this token treasure is everyone’s guess, but I’m thankful to have it.  For now it’s in my possession as I await our next Christmas gift exchange. I wonder who will receive, and hopefully treasure it next? 

In hopes of encouraging  Pawpaw’s memory, I’ve written this poem to accompany his gift…

Pawpaw’s Christmas Wuv

This gift comes with a story,

Of a Christmas long ago, 

Kept hidden away in safe keeping,

Until this year’s gift exchange to bestow. 

KD and Harry went shopping, and 

They purchased a gift for their wives. 

Neither guessed this gift would keep giving,

To generations not yet alive. 

There were two, so one is still hiding,

Would be a fun treasure to find,

But for now this lone one expresses

“Wuv” ne’er forgotten Pawpaw left behind.  

This gift may not seem such a treasure, 

But it’s truly a Gray’s love to bear, 

To take home and display for reminder, 

To regift hilariously next year. 

KCG

In Loving Memory of our Pawpaw, K.D. Gray 

10/08/27-09/27/12

I Miss You!!

Not only will the sorrow of death be forgotten in the joy of heaven, but the joy of heaven will be far deeper and richer because of earth’s pain and sorrow. 

—J.R. Miller

10/10/30-08/03/20

A Time to Celebrate

 

When the Lord Jesus Christ 

became the husband of his church, he felt that he was under an engagement to us, and inasmuch as there were debts incurred, he paid them. 

 

“Yes, said the Son, with her I'll go,

Through all the depths of sin and woe;

And on the cross will even dare

The bitter pains of death to bear.” 

 

He never shrunk from the doing of any of those loving works which belong to the husband of his chosen spouse. 

He exalted the word “husband,” and made it to be more full of meaning than it had ever been before, so that the apostle could see it glittering in a new light, and could say, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” 

Oh, yes! dear friends, there is responsibility arising out of this relationship, but he of whom we speak has not departed from it; 

you know he has not. 

And now, what upon our side? 

The wife has to reverence her husband, and to be subject unto him in all things. That is precisely our position towards him who has married us. 

Let his will be our will. 

Let his wish be our law.

 Let us not need to be flogged to service, but let us say—

 

“’Tis love that makes our willing feet In swift obedience move.” 

Charles Hadden Spurgeon

The Relationship of Marriage

We were able to get away this past week for a couple of nights and partial days to celebrate our 36 years of wedded togetherness! 

We praise the LORD He has been the FAITHFUL One in our marriage relationship to sustain us and prove us.   

Our brief getaway was an hour’s drive to the Casa Monica (our 2nd time) in  St. Augustine.  What a peaceful blessing!  We both needed a change of scenery, and it was good, very good, that we could spend time together with few cares! It rained a good bit, but we made the best of it.  The LORD held back the rain so we could get out to walk soon after we arrived Tuesday evening.  We practically had the place to ourselves…

and then again Wednesday morning until after lunch…

We went back to our room Wednesday afternoon in time to enjoy a restful nap to the sound of rain falling on our window. 

Eventually, we ventured out again to enjoy dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.  

We met and interacted with three friendly couples (older than us), two which joyfully professed faith in the LORD and had been friends for forty years.  They drove down from Macon, GA.  It was a blessing to hear them thank our LORD Jesus before their meal together, in this cozy place where tables were close. 

Before we left, a family we were acquainted with at our past “home church” of 30+ years, FBC, walked in with four of their adult quintuplet children.  What a delight it was to see and briefly visit with them before we left!  Three daughters and one of two sons were with them.  The son that was not with them will soon be wed in November.  

I am praying for them, because I know how that first one to marry is exciting, and yet (not unlike the marriages of the others) will sever.  They will depart from all they’ve known with us as a family for 26 years together. 

Father, may we remember You have ordained the marriage of a man and woman to be the priority union, commanding in the beginning that Adam and Eve be fruitful and multiply.  We praise you for giving us Your reward in our four children during those fruitful years.  You greatly increased our JOY!!  

In this season, we oft feel empty and barren, yet our children are now bearing the fruit of their children to be enjoyed. We are so thankful they are willing to share them!!

Help us to continue to enjoy one another, and those You’ve called us to love and serve.  We are full, and awed to watch You at work as we grow closer in years and grace in this blessed life together!!  We still have much to learn and gain from Your holy ordinance of marriage! 

“For everything there is a season,  and a time for every matter under heaven:…”

Ecclesiastes 3:1